It really makes no sense

because it's a vicious cycle of abuse followed by a showering of affection. abusers don't abuse right away, they wait until their victims guard is down and they feel safe before the cycle begins.

You just need the same confidence of someone who doesn't know they should be ashamed of themselves, Beavis.

Lemme clear this up:

Abusive men (and let's be frank here: abusive people in general) are liars. Turns out the abuse doesn't just happen physically! They're oh so good at seeming so sweet and lovable... at first and in short bursts.

How many of y'all lived in abusive households where everyone thought your abuser parent was the sweetest, nicest, most caring person they knew?

I know this is a joke. But the reason in a lot of cases is simply because it’s super dangerous to leave someone who’s already willing to get violent when you aren’t trying to leave them.

Do these guys really think that violent men are advertising it?!?

No! They love-bomb and get her hooked and THEN, then they start using violence. It is sneaky abuse.

Men like him scare me because that's not the fucking question he should be asking.

It makes perfect sense. Women are people, people can be bad judges of character, be fucked up themselves, have lots of unresolved issues and trauma. It also helps to understand that abusers rarely hit you the first day. It often starts with heaping praise and affection and isolating people from other support systems. And I wouldn’t say they have better love lives than that dude, they have pretty awful ones marked by pain and abuse. They certainly aren’t in stable, healthy relationships which I assume is the goal for this dude?

There is thousands of stories of someone meeting a man or woman and at the time of them meeting they were kind, confident, considerate and affectionate. And as much as a few years to as little as a few hours they become aggressive, manipulative and abusive.

because women are constantly told “you’re overreacting” or “that didn’t happen” or “just be patient with him” so at some point we start to believe it.

r/niceguys leaked here