When it’s the worst time for an emergency

The tp is installed incorrectly

I heard a story in prison about this hothead my friend was in jail with. They got him riled up while he was taking a shit, by telling him this other dude was out in the day room talking shit about him. Rather than pull his pants up and get them shitty, he immediately pulled them OFF and ran out into the day room and got in the guys face screaming that he was gonna fuck him up. No pants. Dick out. Shitty ass. The other guy was shocked and couldn't speak. Luckily someone calmed him down and told him it was a misunderstanding before it got violent. Guy walked back to his cell screaming "that's what I thought!" And finished poopin.

Happened to me during an earthquake. That feeling of total hopelessness where you just think, screw it, I'll wash them later.

You know how fun it would be to tackle a robber and wipe yo poopy butt with their mouth? I don’t know personally, but wouldn’t mind finding out.

Literally just fucking walk up to them and finish your business while maintaining eye contact. You can always clean stuff later

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Where these mfs finding these nasty ass shitting sound effects though

Bidet superiority