A good note for future and current parents

This guy blew up on TikTok for his “philosophical” videos. He got tons of views and comments about how deep and well-spoken so many of his speeches were.

Come to find out, surprise surprise, ChatGPT writes his scripts and he just reads them as fast as he can to try to sound intelligent. Yawn.

I just don't think a lot of parents are mentally developed and prepared enough to have kids. How are you going to have kids when you need therapy to figure yourself out. A lot of parents will have kids to bring value and meaning in to their lives when they need to find that in themselves first. How are you going to raise someone else sufficiently otherwise?

The best you can do for your kid is to support their natural interests and inclinations and support them in succeeding. Parenting is very simple in this way. Make sure they are set for success in their own way and show them love, appreciation and respect, as an example as well.

Cutting contact with my mother (and her side of the family) a few years ago has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

Is anyone else here a parent of young kids?

Do you actually feel these deep philosophical yearnings that you're projecting on to your children? These debates often happen online with people who don't want to have kids and try to make having kids seem like this quest by parents to fulfill something deep inside them.

For me at least, it's mostly just waking up, cleaning some shit, making some eggs, and trying to not to let my other responsbilities stop me from getting a paycheck at work. Having kids is mostly just the most boring, tedious, and basic levels of survival and I'm happy to do it, but I do not expect some grand recognition or spiritual fulfillment.

Mostly, I have the same expectations of wiping my ass after a shit because a lot of what I do is literally just wiping an ass after a baby shits.

You don't need to launch a philosophical investigation into the spiritual meaning of the pile of huggies with feces in them.

I dunno man I think it's just parents wanting the best for their children while protecting them/ preparing them for the world and doing the best they can to provide that for them.

Preach.

More people need to grasp this before deciding to have kids.

I actually dont want to be pregnant, I don't want a shower. I dont even feel the need to have my own child, but I do want to give a chance to someone In the adoption system to have a better life than a few of my friends who aged out of it did. My best friend ended up aging out of the foster care system, and had a difficult and painful life as an adult with no family to speak of, no place to call home, no safe space to land when things got harder. He killed himself a few years ago and it still kills me the awful time he had as a child with foster parents who abused and used him viciously. I want to give a home to kids who wouldnt otherwise be adopted, give them the best chances I can give to be their best selves and help them grow into intelligent and kind adults who want to help others. Im working on it, I cant afford to give even myself a good life yet, but im doing my best.

Remember there are hundreds of thousands of children in the american foster system alone, and so many more in other countries, and they all need families who will love and respect them and help them grow.

Sometimes I wonder if society has gone too far with the "you don't owe anyone anything" philosophy. I think that at the very least, we owe each other respect, which is something that I think a lot of parents forget in regards to their children. They're fully onboard for the idea that children should respect their parents, but many would be flabbergasted at the idea that they owe a baseline level of respect their children too, regardless of their age, ability, or accomplishments. Maybe a lot of people have a flawed understanding of what respect even is. Many people seem to think it means obedience, positive regard, or fear, but enemies and close friends alike can both be respected. At the same time though, it's not something you can force someone else to give you. I guess that's what makes it so elusive and difficult to understand. Really the best way to teach it is by directly modeling it from birth.

I think emotional immaturity is way more common than people realize, especially in terms of generational trauma which I also happen to think is even more common than we realize.

My mom had me 100% as an emotional retirement plan/a second chance at a childhood/someone who she'd believed would offer her unconditional love rather than the other way around

She has a personality disorder and my life could be described by a huge portion of this video. I became chronically ill and haven't lived up to my potential (her expectations) and often feel like I am expected to convince her that having me was worth it

I've given up trying

I disappointed my parents greatly by becoming a gay, atheist, child-free Democrat teacher with a husband instead of a straight, Christian, Republican doctor with 20 children and a beautiful wife.

We haven't talked for two decades at this point.