You can't get this

"dating used to be simpler back in the old days"

"After failing to lasso himself a bride at the annual Bride Spin Festival, Sven braces for another lonely and solitary winter."

Shocked we don't have /r/WhitePeopleShit cause this would be a top post

My mind instantly went to a Final Destination scenario of the rope looping around neck and legs, then ropes sliding under the spinning mechanism and

Some say she is still spinning to this very day

Is this some christian redneck tradition where they try to catch their sister? Hiiyaaa, America freedom!

So do they have a giant turntable specifically for this purpose?

Epstein Traffic Simulator

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