I'm too anxious to start social media due to my weight & looks. Can only pretty women succeed?

This is a brand new account as I've always just been a lurker on reddit for years. Long story short, I've been wanting to start social media for about 2 years. I got married in the spring of 2025 and the plan in 2024 was to film me DIYing my wedding and use that as my launch. My wedding was beautiful and I married the man of my dreams and my DIY's were perfect but I didn't film much. I was anxious about how I look and how to make myself appear ok looking on camera ie: the angles of not giving yourself a horrid double chin when you aleady have a slight one, the lighting, audio, everything. It was just way too overwhelming!

My content pillars: digitial planning, organizing, gift giving, and then being a small business owner. On top of starting a personal brand account, I also want to expand my business account. I own a very niche 'serious' type of B2B business that mostly sells to HR professionals. I wanted to use social media to sell more because all of my competition only posts AI generated crap on linkedin by old white men.

I am 33, white female. I have short blonde hair and blue eyes and wear glasses 99% of the time. I don't have a defined chin and I have mild acne. My acne has gotten better due to meds but I will need to stop those soon if I get on prenatals. I have PCOS/ PMOS so I gain weight easily. All of my fat is in my stomach. I am about 5'5 and weight 165. Right when I met my husband, I was about 145 but no matter how much I starved myself, I couldn't get below that and honestly even at 145, my weight was all I could think about. I was spending $800 a month on a personal trainer then. I am working with a dietician now but by body is slow to respond to changes and I may never get down to lower than 160.

The thing is I want to do social media and I've been working with my therapist on how to get over that fear but I thought it may be beneficial to hear from real people about your expections? It seems like for women creators, even if you are not in the beauty space everyone is gorgeous.

Any advice or comments is welcome. I didn't think I needed to post pics but if ya'll think I need to, I can. Also, if anyone has any resources on how to film oneself while making yourself look more attractive, I'm all ears!

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Acceptable-Bat-9577•2 days ago•1

Pretty women fail all the time. Everyone does. There are millions of Barbies who all want to be influencers. They can’t all be famous. Most social media platforms are AT LEAST 50% bots. Today’s social media doesn’t support the users. It doesn’t elevate people who create original, unique, and homegrown content. They literally punish their own users.

And whatever genuine users there are on these platforms, they’re tired. They’re worn out from everything being an advertisement and your content will be ignored by real humans because of that.

These platforms don’t support small or independent businesses. Bot accounts that advertise non-existent businesses and products (scamvertisers) will get better support than you ever will. That’s the social media landscape.

No-Perspective872•2 days ago•1

First off, social media isn’t just for pretty people. I’m old, fat, and wear glasses. I have been very successful. Go figure!
Secondly, you can start posting without showing your face if you want. I just started a second account about home design/decorating because I just moved. That account will be completely faceless by design. Well, it will feature my cats faces lol
Either way, you can create content and your people will find you. People will love you because they relate, so don’t be afraid to show how you really are 💛

maggieredd-it•2 days ago•1

"only pretty woman can succeed" sound like a limiting belief and what we believe becomes our reality. If you create from that space you'll be unintentionally looking for ways that prove your point. That's how our brain works.

In the end it's not about how you look, but the relationship you have with yourself. Can you find love for yourself that is not set by societal standards and goes beyond your looks? You're not your acne, your weight, your chin. You're a person with various qualities, personality traits, life experiences, stories... :)

If you're already anxious about your looks, social media will only magnify that insecurity. People can be really mean. (btw even 'pretty woman' get mean comments and judgment)

greenguru520•2 days ago•1

This was hard to read.

I know how cruel the world can be to women and I've always stood up to that cruelty and not let it phase me. I hadn't realized there were other women putting their entire life's dreams on hold because of potential cruelty from stranger's online. What an eye opener...

I wish you could choose glory over fear.

I don't know how to help, but I really hope you get a coach or some behavioral health or something that helps you get past this negative mindset. Would really hate for your whole life to not actualize because you placed such immense value on your external appearance.

sweetnsourale•1 day ago•1

There’s quite a few heavyset women succeeding in the social media space. You just have to have personality & a measure of visual style to succeed online.

If you want I can send you a few names. But tbh, they’re not thin skinned. The reality is, you may see comments making fun of you. You can block key words on most platforms now or get a moderator so you don’t see it yourself. But trolls will always exist on the internet.

There’s also faceless content, you don’t have to show your body at all. but you definitely have to have personality & a visual style to your videos. You can show your face whenever you feel comfortable after that.

As an aside about PCOS, that is also a social media niche. I follow one makeup influencer with PCOS & have through her weight loss journey & she did it on a glp1. (Idk if that’s an option, NAD talk to yours). If that’s the insecurity, solve it. It’s no different than a man getting hair plugs or a woman getting a BBL. You only have one life, be happy.

Sandcastle772•1 day ago•1

I’m a boomer but it doesn’t hold me back. I enjoy sharing my original art. I may not be everyone’s up of tea, but it’s the subject content that matters most of all. You do you. Share what you do best.

BP041•1 day ago•1

Pretty women don't have a monopoly on social media success — consistency and a clear niche matter way more. The algorithm cares about retention and sharing, not chin angles. If you can film from a fixed overhead angle or just show your hands working, that often outperforms face-to-camera content anyway.

NetOk7015•1 day ago•1

Nah, absolutely not. Some of the biggest creators in DIY and wedding content are regular people who just showed their process authentically. Your DIYs turned out perfect - that's the hook, not your face. Film your hands doing the work, voiceover the process, show the before/after. People follow for the transformation and the how-to, not a model shoot. Start with what you already nailed.

Ambitious_Phrase6887•1 day ago•1

Not always just be yourself and build a brand that’s revolves around you

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