Am I Failed as a creator?

This post is about my own thoughts, as a Pakistani middle class,graduated,unskilled person.

Occasionally, I imagine viewers need me to make a content. In reality, they want to see someone hustling or putting on a show. To some extent, I can be the clown, perhaps they will get tired of my circus.In fact,they want someone to show them a dream hustle or dream lifestyle, owing to their requirements, I can paint that fantasy for them.
In the hollow quiet of solitude, I seldom think about the judgements by the people around me. What will they think? Well who gives a fuck!

From my vantage, when you get failed as a content creator, then you face some real critics and consequences of your content creation. For instance: all of your peers are nearly close to achieve desired job-role in their professional lives. While, you are nothing but a failed son, busting your ass to be at-least an average guy like others.
Now, everyone asks you to do that content creation again because you were perfect. Then you get a flashbacks, when same friends were not even interested to help for your content. Many were used to let their phone ringing or did excuses to dodge you.
It does not mean that you are blaming others for your condition, but yourself. You are no more interested to show your talent to those, who do not care. Nevertheless, that child in you still wants to be people’s favourite.
The real question is not about whether you want to be a content creator for them, but for yourself!

Why don’t you make a promise
to chase again what you wanted?
Well, I think I am waiting for a perfect time that may never come.However, I know this is not a good time or perhaps not a suitable place to make content anyway.

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