High School football coach after losing on homecoming

That’s aggressively accurate and wasn’t even on the football team

The little folded up piece of paper is great

We just weren’t allowed to do Homecoming activities. We won three state championships though, so I guess it wasn’t for nothing.

And then the next practice they run you like a fucking dog until you puke

As an 18-year old boy this is what i heard…go enjoy homecoming! Thanks coach!

This makes my stomach hurt. I’m 38 and didn’t even play football.

If you think this is bad, you should see the pep talk he gives himself in the mirror when he's been constipated for three days cause all he eats is White Castle and sunflower seeds.

“Hot stuff” = high school coach speak

Also, “mom and dad”—not “YOUR mom and dad” is also very coach coded.

lol so good

Ugh, I fucking hated these talks. Come on bro, I'm O line and didn't give up a sack, can I go?

"its all about having fun" hitting 10 year olds with a speech like this after a loss