My husband goes on tik tok live in his free time

hi guys I have found myself being so addicted to this app that I end up going to look for something I don’t like. My husband and I are in an argument to where I had to take a vacation away from him. He’s been going on tik tok live pretending to be somebody he’s not showing our place we live in together while using everything around the house that I own and act like it’s his. It’s honestly very cringe and humiliating watching somebody you love seek validation from random people on the internet and also live in the delusion of acting like he has fans and random people who care about this fake persona he’s putting on when I feel like the attention, time and energy he puts into going on tik tok live for random people should be put into me and our relationship. I’ve already communicated this to him multiple times and this is the fourth time I have received a text from somebody (he blocked me) informing me that they see my own husband on tik tok live. I have found myself crashing out and finding ways to watch him on live through secret accounts and it’s frustrated me so much that I’m in another state, blocked on everything, and he’s still overstepping my boundaries live streaming our home acting like this version of himself he thinks he is that every time I even open my tik tok app I have the urge to watch his lives on a secret account or it’s not even enjoyable to scroll anymore because I’m constantly thinking about if hes still on tik tok live. Mind you, I have been away from him for a whole month. Out of the whole month I have been gone, he’s only been off tik tok live for a week. And that was because I had to beg him and convince him to understand that he’s constantly overstepping boundaries I have already set a while back.

I fully hid the tik tok app from my phone and told myself i will not be on it for a weekend. It is now Monday and I have gone two full days without it. Honestly sad but proud of myself. I think I should keep going. Only issue is that I have a flight (he isn’t aware of) to go back to see him this upcoming Friday and I’m not sure how I’m going to entertain myself. A woman can only journal, read, and watch her shows on her own tv so much before a man that lives and shares a room with her provokes her and keeps doing stuff he knows will bother you. Who knows maybe when I show up at the apartment he’ll already be on tik tok live. Who knows maybe he won’t even go on live at all while I’m there. I doubt it though. A month ago, before I left him we were in the middle of an argument where he was gaslighting me and degrading me and instead of apologizing , he starts packing his clothes on tik tok live saying he’s going to go somewhere else for the night…. He never does. He even goes the furthest extent to where if his phone dies he will wait for tie to charge to go back on live again. while I was waiting for an apology still he goes on tik tok live in our bathroom and keeps putting the camera to my face despite me saying “stop” and letting him know I did not want to be broadcasted on his tik tok live multiple times. Before you ask why he is like this trust me his friends, my friends, have no idea. He fully got dropped from his school program recently because he has been prioritizing going on tik tok over studying/sleep but finds a way to blame me for all of his failures. And for some background he grew up w a broken home he pretty much has no family and has been on his own (in the military) since 17 and his only friend recently had a conversation with me and we both don’t understand why he acts the way he does.

Any advice from men and women on what I can do to prepare myself for when I see his face again? Forgot to mention he broke the lock in the only room in our apartment so even if I wanted privacy from him I can’t. I don’t have a car out there in the state we moved to and he never lets me use his car or whenever we get into arguments and I need him to leave for like an hour he doesn’t and ends up just provoking me more. It’s almost as if he knows exactly what my buttons are, pushes them, and blames me for my reaction as if he didn’t do anything. He’s 24 turning 25 so I know he is a grown man and grown enough to know right from wrong. His teacher even asked him if he had anybody he looks up to and he said no. I’m not sure what will get thru his head to have him understand that right now he has bigger priorities in his life and he’s kind of a shitty person and not the man I first met and is prioritizing tik tok live and attention from random strangers on the internet to play this persona that he thinks he is when in reality he isn’t.

I’d like to preface one last time I never had an issue with my husband having any social media. He doesn’t even have instagram the only socials we have are our tik toks. I have already communicated him going on tik tok live crosses my boundaries because I am not comfortable with him showing where we live on the internet, and he resorts into talking to random strangers before even talking to me. I have screen recordings of him showing the flowers I sent him saying they’re from a “secret admirer” knowing that his own wife sent him flowers. I have recordings of him asking women where they’re from and fully engaging into conversation with them and that makes me uncomfortable because I don’t know if they’re minors or not. He claims it’s for “engagement” I say if you worried ab enhancement start looking for a damn engagement ring he never got me. I’m going insane. I started taking ashwaganda and I try to find other ways to keep my mind busy at all times to avoid thinking about him but I’m not sure what I can do when I go back home to see him.