Why do some parents trust their parents over their own child? (Serious question)(?)

Edited (Top Half, original question below):

Just take the video as it is. I think it wasn’t the best idea to ask the question in here as I was informed and saw.

I am seeing people answering honestly about what they think and they are being downvoted for their opinion. I didn’t mean to subjugate anyone to that and it hurts/feels bad.

Just upvoted, I guess, if you feel the video is cringe and the father is a PoS. I understand people care about karma and I am warning that answering the question honestly may cause a dip. I’ll ask the question in another subreddit but keep the video up because I hate this interaction and it makes me cringe, but also question.

P.S.: I am not, and will not be, downvoting anyone.


Original Message:

I’m autistic, so I sometimes struggle understanding certain family/social dynamics or want to understand them better, and I’m genuinely trying to learn from people who are more knowledgeable or who have professional or lived experience with this topic.

I recently saw this video where a father seemed unwilling to believe his daughter’s accusation against her grandfather, especially because she disclosed it much later. Part of me wonders whether he truly trusts his father, is in denial, or simply doesn’t want to accept the possibility.

During Mental Health First Aid training, I was taught that it’s important to take disclosures seriously and support the person coming forward rather than immediately dismissing them, because not being believed can cause additional trauma, isolation, or prevent future reporting.

My question is: psychologically or socially, why do some parents side with their own parents over their child in situations like this?

Does having a much longer relationship/history with their parents make it harder to accept the possibility that abuse happened? Do some parents feel their parents “could never do that”? Does denial become a coping mechanism because accepting it would completely change how they view their family and childhood?

Also, can ordinary childhood lying (small things like denying they took food or broke something) unfairly affect how seriously later disclosures are treated? Could familiarity with typical childhood dishonesty, or even projecting their own experiences as a child, make some parents instinctively trust their own parent more?

I’d especially appreciate insight from therapists, social workers, psychologists, advocates, or people with relevant experience. I’m trying to better understand the family dynamics and psychology behind these reactions.

I strongly support Take Back the Night and have heard similar stories from survivors speaking publicly about relatives or parents refusing to believe them, sometimes even leading to estrangement or disownment.

I’m posting this here because I found the video disturbing/cringe, but also because I’m hoping people who understand these dynamics better might be willing to explain them. So… half posting a video and half asking what many of you all think, your own perspectives.

Comments

theharperimageabout 2 months ago209

He went thru the enabler tactics like he had a manual: deny ever knowing, what drugs are you on, fake laughter to attempt to look in control when he is shitting his pants because he knows his father is an abuser.

Xzerieaabout 2 months ago174

Wow, he is actually so evil in the end. The laughing and gaslighting. This poor woman. I can't imagine doing that to my baby.

imalostkitty-ox0about 2 months ago75

He strikes me as the kind of POS that also molested someone and has this sort of mentality that if his own dad gets held accountable, then he’s next sort of thing

SadLoafOfBread87about 2 months ago67

What an absolute POS

Rafiks1about 2 months ago44

I guarantee that it has less to do with the top down relationship and more to do with the fact that his kid is a woman and not a man. If it were a man Im sure he would have stopped tlaking to his dad already. Regardless even if Im wrong no what a POS.

Impressive-Record839about 2 months ago43

The guy reminds me of my psycho neighbor

0rcabubblesabout 2 months ago42

I hate him

badbirch99about 2 months ago21

Because to believe her is to admit he failed at protecting her and that his own parent is a monster. And frankly, it likely means there are other victims (possibly other women that this dude has previously discounted or disowned). It’s never about the victim and always about saving face.

This is why we must believe victims every time. Often they have already had to survive their own personal and family doubts to get to the point of reporting.

unnie_noirabout 2 months ago17

So many people SHOULD NOT be parents. What a horrible piece of shit. If she hasn't gone no-contact with him already, she needs.

Suninabottleabout 2 months ago11

Never underestimate the power of denial