I was a teen creator (80k IG / 300k TikTok). Years later I still feel mentally “watched” and tied to being perceived.

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Sounds very exhausting. That feeling of being watched is real when you are someone that can create dynamic content online easily. I’ve been waiting for years to read posts exactly like yours.

Don’t let them convince you otherwise; the adults in the room knew exactly what was going to happen and saw so many 0s they didn’t give a damn about you and the entire youth’s entire minds … it’s sick and may justice find them swiftly.

If you look closely you’ll realize Tinder is the gig economy for romance. They’ve accounted for and commodified enough of our humanity that we don’t feel human anymore.

I can’t imagine growing up into it and I again remind you that the adults all knew better - spread that simple and unfalsifiable message wide. It’s negligence at BEST.

Don’t worry — they’re all buddies cashing in on all sides truly. Feeling down? They know a guy (Hers) — need a guy? They have that too, in droves. The men are the paying customers and so what are our sisters and daughters?

Don’t stop pulling at this thread - unravel it all friend.

Focus on what you are contributing and the value it's offering to your audience, negativity will be always there, better ignore

This is very common with content creators and personally I believe that Australia was right to limit social media accounts to those that are over 16.

This is what motivated me to create a social media website where posts vanish at midnight at the posters timezone. No history of posts from your past to worry about.

Hey, I just wanted to say this was really thoughtful and self-aware to write out. A lot of people who grow up online probably feel some version of this, but very few can explain it this clearly.

You kind of went through an unusual psychological experience during formative years. Most people learn who they are privately and gradually. You learned while being watched, perceived, and archived online. That changes the way your nervous system relates to identity, attention, and even basic social interaction.

Nothing you described sounds “crazy” to me. The hyper-awareness, feeling slightly performative even offline, comparing yourself to an older version of yourself, feeling weirdly perceived all the time….. that actually makes perfect sense after years of visibility and trolling at a young age.

I think one of the hardest parts of internet attention is that people freeze a version of you in time while you continue evolving privately. Meanwhile, you’re trying to become a real person again instead of a character, memory, or projection. That creates a really strange split internally.
But I also don’t think you’re broken or doomed to stay in this state. To me, this sounds more like burnout, identity exhaustion, and a nervous system that never fully got to relax after being “on” for years.

Something that stood out to me was when you said you feel irrelevant if you stop posting. I think a lot of creators eventually realize social media can quietly merge visibility with self-worth. The healing part is slowly rebuilding a life where being seen is optional instead of necessary for feeling real.
And weirdly, the fact that you’re aware of all this at 23 is probably a good sign. Self-awareness like this usually comes before people rebuild in a healthier, more grounded way.

I’d genuinely recommend spending more time doing things that create identity without audience feedback. Real-world hobbies, deeper friendships, routines, work you care about, places where nobody knows your past online identity. Not disappearing forever, just proving to your brain that you still exist when nobody is watching.
Also, for what it’s worth: the people around you are almost definitely thinking about you far less than your nervous system tells you they are. When we go through prolonged visibility or scrutiny, the brain can get stuck in a “social surveillance” mode long after the actual attention has faded.
You sound intelligent, reflective, and emotionally honest. I think you’re in a transition period, not a permanent collapse of identity.

The "always slightly performing even when nothing is happening" feeling is real and more common among people who grew up with early audiences than most talk about. Your nervous system learned that being seen had consequences good and bad and it doesn't just switch off when you log out.

I really feel for all of you that went through social media like this.

One can only hope that there will be a backlash. I am meeting more and more Gen Z with flip phones these days.

The goal isn’t to stop being seen but to stop needing approval to exist comfortably.

That constant sense of being watched is real and draining, especially when your formative years were public
Small boundaries help, set fixed posting windows, carve out spaces that stay private, and talk with a therapist or peers who get the creator life so you can separate your worth from how people perceive you