Kids say the darndest things

My kiddo is 5, non verbal autistic. One day she was crashing out because Dad told her no to something so I jokingly said "kick his ass!" And she started chanting "KICK HIS ASS. KICK HIS ASS" Clear as day. Call me a bad parent but I 100% could not have predicted she was going to repeat that lmao

My niece was the sweetest, most well behaved kid ever. When she was about 3 she came over and said to me and my grandma "my ears are ______ up", but we couldn't really understand what she said. My grandma was like "your ears are stuffed up?" and she said "No! I know I'm not super to say it but my ears are fucked up!".

Took her to the doctor and she had an ear infection. Her ears were, in fact, fucked up.

Was sitting at a red light and when it turned green I guess the cars ahead of me didn't go fast enough for someone and someone in the line honked.

My 1.5yo from the back seat - 'what the hell ya beeping for, asshole'

We almost didnt make it home because I was laughing so hard.

Some of these kids seem so tired of life already 😆

When my kid was about two or three, they dropped some food off their plate. They couldn't see me from where they were standing and they just said, quietly, to themselves "for fucks sake"

"it's right behind you you fucking dingdong" got me good

These are the children of millennials. That's just how we fucking talk.

Some of them used the profanity in the correct context, which is pretty impressive all things considered.

My kid has Echolalia.. we didn't know when we swore around her, now we know when we couldn't get her to stop repeating swear words and using them contextually perfectly. Her teachers have said this won't stop, she's likely to always swear now. It's so embarrassing cos she's mentally a toddler but she's also 11 and when says theses words in public we get awful looks, I just tell people she has tourettes now, no one knows what Echolalia is but it triggers a similar thing to tourettes so we say it in the hope people understand a little more, she also says them more in high stress or hyped situations which is all the time due to her autism. These kids are cute though.

What the fuck is your problem, Everly?