honestly you're 100% right about the memory thing. I've noticed the same, i can tell you exactly who wrote a thoughtful comment on my recent post but i couldn't tell you who just reacted to my them.
as far as the weighting goes, the LI algorithm is basically designed to back up exactly what you're seeing. It’s obsessed with dwell time and meaningful engagement rn. if someone stops to actually type a reply, it tells the algo the post is high quality, so it pushes it to a wider slice of your network.
a few things people usually miss when they talk about this:
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that first hour is everything. if you don't get a few comments in the first 60-90 min the algo will most likely bury it as it thinks its low quality.
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external links are reach killers (honestly the algo is so petty and jealous of you even suggesting someone to leave the platform) so its preferred to put your link in the comments, unless the post is all about the click, then I would still just put it in the post thb.
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posting and ghosting is a big no-no. make sure to be engaging on the platform before and after you post and def reply and react to any comments you get on your own post.
in short, if it feels like a real conversation, the algo loves it. if it feels like noise in a void, it dies.